As soon as my sister was born, she forgot my name, but I was still her girl. Fancy lunches at the town line house, rides on the duck boats, a trip to Clinique so that I could learn to apply makeup without looking like a floozy– these are some of my favorite memories with my nana. She was not perfect– she was stubborn, impatient, feisty and she walked too fast, but it didn’t matter. She was my nana and I loved her. She was a huge part of my childhood.

What my papa died she moved to an apartment by herself with her little dog. I tried to visit her as often as I could, but I lived first in Maine and then in Maryland, so it was tricky. Many hours were spent on her couch or at the china moon where we would have deep discussions about my future. Although she met my husband and held my children, I am not sure if she ever knew her predictions came true, that I found love and a family of my own. She was instrumental in keeping me positive in my darkest day.

I have missed her these last few years, as dementia took over. I tried to visit whenever I could, but it was difficult. It has been very sad to watch her disappear into herself, to watch her become a shell of her former self. She died a week ago and her funeral was yesterday. I am relieved that her suffering is over, but I will continue to miss her, and to be sad that my children do not know her.

2013- I am not quite sure I ever realized it was 2013, and then it was gone. I think we had a pretty good year. I learned how to safely transport my family by bicycle. We explored our city and had fun doing it. A turned from a toddler into a little girl, and M became a toddler right before our very eyes. Shannon finished his Master’s program, something he had been hoping to do since I met him. My ankle fracture made me ask for help, which is something I am not very good at.

It was also a sad year. I lost both of my feline friends to old age. We are now pet-less except for a goldfish. She is a really animated little goldfish, but not very cuddly. Eventually we will probably get a dog. Currently though, I think A and I are both angling for a cat. Unfortunately, Shannon is allergic and I promised him years ago that when my cats died we could be catless. It is oddly quiet without them though.

The saddest part of the year was the loss of my Aunt Maureen, from Springfield. We always referred to her that way. She was my father’s aunt, and he has a sister with the same name, so that is how we told them apart. Aunt Maureen was one of the feistiest, most independent women I have ever met. Well into her 80s she still drove from Springfield to Boston on almost every holiday. Married late in life, she lost her husband very early. He was her true love, and she never did remarry, but she seemed very content in her life. She had a great sense of humor. It was she who introduced me to “Cool Hand Luke” and Paul Newman with his dreamy blue eyes. She was always full of life. I was shocked to see her so sick and frail over Thanksgiving, and horrified when my sister said that she seemed close to death. She was though. As much as I will miss her, I am glad she went fairly quickly and did not suffer very long.

2014- In this new year, I want to be more attentive to my kids. Despite being a lifelong avid reader, I have not read much in the last few years. I hope to change that this year. I plan on continuing with the Fresh 20 meal plan, so that we will eat at home more and out less. My final goal is to try to be more organized.

We biked to Sherwood gardens yesterday to hang out with A’s friends from playgroup. When they all entered school this year playgroup fizzled a bit. A has been missing them and asking about them lately, so I decided we would join them.

Jump for Joy

5 1/2 miles away, Sherwood garden is outside of my goal area. We could have taken the car, and technically not felt guilty about it, but I decided to see if I could ride it. The biggest issue with riding in Baltimore is that going north means spending much of the ride going up hill. The nice part about this trip is that it could be done on the Jones Falls Trail and the Guilford bike boulevard.

Good Balance Boy Child

It was a beautiful morning for a ride. The kids were both happy and I was excited to push my limits a bit. We got around the harbor and up the path in record time, for us. Then we used the Guilford bike boulevard for the first time. I was amazed at how simple modifications could make a road so much more pleasant to ride. The crosswalk at North Ave. has a space for bicycles to wait, as does the road. The speed bumps have a cut out in them for bikes, and there are circles at some of the intersections. The result is that traffic moves slower, and bikers have a more enjoyable experience.

Once at Sherwood gardens we looked at tulips and met up with our friends. The kids had a great time. It was a perfect spring day.

Heading home after a long day. M was asleep before I even buckled him in.

Riding a bike is a fairly public act. In a car you can hide from the world, but on a bike your every action is visible. Sleeping children, as noted before, bring the most attention, waving children make people smile. That said, I was completely unprepared for yesterday’s conversation.

It started innocently enough, I Was loading the children onto the bike, after picking A up from school, and noticed that a family was using the nearby parking meter. The grandma of the group was watching us intently so I said hello. She said something back to me but the only word I heard was school. I must have looked confused, because she responded in a firm slightly annoyed voice, “What is your plan?”

Still confused, I replied, “Today? We are heading home from school?”

Shaking her head, “No, what is your plan for when they are older? Where will you send them to school?”

Ah, I suddenly realize both what she is asking and why she is asking, “Probably Federal Hill, but I have plenty of good options.”

“Where’s that? Is it private?”

“Right over there. No it is public. There are some really good options in the city. We are nervous about middle school, but even those are improving. We have some great options for High School.”

“Like Poly?”, her tone is clipped now, polite but skeptical.

“There are more options than that,” I go on to list them. “Plus, I have been a city teacher for over 11 years. I believe in City Schools”.

“Oh, so you won’t send them someplace like Gilman or Friends?” She mentions some private schools shaking her head in disbelief.

“Nope, have a beautiful day.” I give her a little wave and we bike off.

Even without children, I am terrified about being doored biking through the city. I decided at some point that yelling at parked cars was my best bet for not being hit. If I am passing a car and think there might be someone in it I yell “On your left”, as loudly as I can.
A has taken to yelling this as well. The other day as we were riding down the street a yelled, “On your right”.
I was puzzled and then I realized she was yelling at the guy across the street, and technically we were on his right.
I find it amazing that she is beginning to know her left from her right. This is a skill I have always struggled with, so I never imagined it would come so easily for one of my children.
I don’t know if this is something they work on at school or not, but I do know we have not thoroughly covered it at home. I give all the credit to Youyou and Bouwna. Who? Youyou and Bouwna, you know, A’s hands. Apparently, they are girl baby birds. Youyou is the right one and Bouwna is the left, and she knows this. She also thinks it is really funny to pretend that her hands are birds. These two have great adventures, frequent birthdays, and get hurt and need mama kisses at least once a day. I love how creative she is, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that it worries me a bit.