Ada is almost 18 months old. We are still nursing. At dinner with a bunch of moms, one of them said, “We stopped last summer, but I can’t imagine he would sit still long enough to nurse.”
I couldn’t help myself, I burst out into hysterical laughter. I laughed so hard that tears streamed down my face. The other mother of another nursing toddler giggled, as well. The non-nursing toddler moms looked at us, confused. Finally I was able to eek out words, “you think toddlers are still when they nurse? Really? Ada is the queen of nursing gymnastics.”
She has begun to calm down a bit, but there were a few weeks when I didn’t think we would make it. Monkey toes were up my nose, around my head, and pulling my hair. There were days when I was sure she was measuring just how far my nipples would travel while still attached to my body. Despite all of that I wouldn’t give up that experience for all the riches in the world.
She is down to nursing about three times a day, four if she is over tired or sick. The most important nursing session is the one before nap time, because I have yet been able to get her to nap, consistently, without nursing her down. I am okay with continuing to nurse her for a while. We are talking about baby number two and that will probably become a reality sooner than later. I am not sure if I am prepared to nurse while pregnant. Both experiences, while rewarding, have also taken their toll, and I am not sure if I will be able to eat/drink enough to maintain a milk supply while growing a person. My plan is to continue nursing, while working to get her to nap and go to bed awake. That way if we need to wean suddenly it won’t be as traumatic.

My girl loves to sing. A large portion of her language development has revolved around singing and music. She would manipulate her earliest sounds by tapping her hand against her lips or bouncing her whole body up and down as she sang. Her first song was “If you are happy and you know it”, which was only recognizable by a bit of tune and fervent clapping. “Skip to my Lou” was next and continues to be a favorite. Music class brought us Frere Jacques and howling. Her Nana taught her “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” over skype. “Ee-i-ee-i-oo” is a curse word sung out in frustration and anger. “Rock a bye baby”, is yelled with glee accompanied by a hug, when she is in the mood for snuggling. There are many other songs that she sings as she moves about her day. I wish that she continues to find music in her life, always.

My girl is one– and a day. How has a year already gone by?

Both sets of parents, my siblings, and my niece all came to Baltimore to celebrate Ada’s birthday. Including us, that is 11 people, which is the upper limit of my house. Just adding Amber’s clan would have sunk us, and we had other friends we wanted to invite, so we decided to have the party at Muggsy’s.

“Wait” you ask, “You had your baby’s first birthday party at a bar? What kind of people are you?”

We are the kind of people who live in a tiny house and wanted to keep the party simple. Muggsy’s has a great upstairs that is perfect for parties. The door closes, so the crawlers and walkers were safe. There is plenty of room, and we like to give the owner our business.

Other than the mad dash to clean my house before everyone arrived, we managed to keep the party fairly simple. There have been playgroup parties that have taken more planning. We did some minimal decorating and cleaning. I bought some balloons and plates. I let go of the details and managed to delegate some of the tasks. My friend Julie helped me with the cake to match the plates. My mother-in-law put the finishing (and most important) touches on the banner. I had made Ada a tutu a few weeks before, so her outfit was set. Danny provided all of the food and beverages. He also turned the TVs to children’s programming and the music to a Pandora children’s station.

I thought it went really well. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, and I managed to stay relaxed. It was a beautiful day.

Let’s go back to the first sentence. My girl is one. I am still amazed and astonished that her first birthday has come and gone. She is growing and changing almost daily at this point. Today she pulled a box out from under a chair and used it to climb up into the chair. She is using more language and crawling like a champ.

She seemed to enjoy her party and spent much of the party crawling around in her ridiculous tutu, and chasing the older kids. Last night she was exhausted.

I am still a bit unsatisfied with her birth and my experience in the hospital. I wonder if we would have been better with a midwife, or if we would have survived that experience. I am both thankful and a bit put out that I was allowed to push for as long as I did. I am glad that I was able to avoid a c-section, but wonder if Ada would have been born healthier if I had had one.

The time she spent in the NICU was stressful, but the staff was wonderful to her. I wish Mercy had a better system of feeding mothers with babies in the NICU. I am sad that the three of us didn’t get to curl up together in the hospital bed, while we counted and kissed her toes. These are such tiny complaints though, when I think about how lucky we are to have this amazing wonderful little girl.